Fix it, heal it, do what ever to make it stop. Poem By me

It changes so fast you can’t even see it

It changes so fast you can’t even believe it

No one can control it, neither fix it.


From happy to sad

That’s what makes me bad

Makes me do bad things

Hurt people

Hurt myself


Sadness makes pain

Pain on the inside

Better on the outside

Not healthy, but better than drugs


No excuse, no reason why

But still I feel like I have to testify


Desperate to feel

Just something else

So you grab that razor or even knife

Depends on what you’ve got around


Pain isn’t pleasure

Pain is hope

The only hope I’ve got

What keeps me going


No pleasure, just pain

The same old pressure

The same old game

All I do is try to make it stop

So ask yourself,

Is it really all that bad?


My answer is yes, it is

But still the urge to do it gets bigger

At least I’m clean

At least for now

But what am I supposed to do when I can’t resist no more?


Will it be deeper?

Will the shame still be there?

The relief?


You say I’m sick

You say I’m crazy

But you try to be me for just one day

Feel the pain deep inside

So deep that no one knows

Not even myself sometimes


So deep it’s hidden for me as well

But I feel it, so fake, but yet so real

So tell me, is the pain I feel really real?


Questions, without answers

That’s all it is

All it will ever be

All hidden deep inside of me.





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