I’ve been told several times that I should show it more if I’m excited about something, talk about it, just be happy, and I try to be, but when the person you’re telling shows no sign of listening and just says “oh that’s good” in a busy tone, you kind of lose the buzz to tell them the rest, and you realize they don’t give a sh*t.
I try to be happy because I know I like myself when I am, and the negative thoughts are long gone, I even forget them for a while.
Most people know me as the crazyass happy girl that comes with random comments and jokes around, and that is me, that is who I wanna be every second for the rest of my life, I’m tired of trying to be just like everyone else. Why be like the others when you can be unique by just being yourself?
I’ve told myself a million times that I can’t give up, I won’t, but a half year ago or so that was all I wanted to do, through my mind I wandered alone. But now someone’s got my back, someone who doesn’t allows me to even think about giving up, someone who loves me just the way I am, with all my flaws and everything. He accepts it.
I think I’ve scared him tones of times when I tell him I’ve hurt myself, he’s the only one I tell things to, the one I trust with my life. And all I can say is that I’m glad I haven’t scared him away, and that he sees that my harming and stuff is just one part of me, one of many parts of me.
But I hope that someday that part of me will be gone and I’ll be able to never fall back into depression, I never wanna be that scared, isolate myself so much ever again.
A person once said that I don’t do anything to get better, but the truth is that I fight that struggle every day, but the difference is that I’m not doing it alone.
Now I’m stronger, I’ve got more hope; I know that someday it will be okay, maybe even great.
Never give up no matter how hard the struggles seem, just remember that when you’ve climbed your way up; the view is beautiful.