Am I or aren’t I?

Fine I wanted help, but when I talked to some stranger therapist (mine’s on holiday), she got extremely worried and was nearly convinced I was having it worse that I was, and that I probably was gonna kill myself, even though I told her I wasn’t suicidal, GOD WHY CAN’T THEY EVER LISTEN?!

I’m scared, frustrated, sometimes panicking, I don’t want people to find out that fine I’m sick and tired of living, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve got a plan to where and when to do it, cause I don’t.  Sure I know a few ways of how I coulda done it, but thats’s not the same as having a concrete plan.

The therapist I talked to yesterday(same one), talked to me like I was mentally disabled or what to call it, like I didn’t understand a thing, as I was stupid(?)

Fine I said “I don’t know” and ” I don’t remember” a lot, but just because I don’t know or remember, and telling her I felt like I was being blocked out, she said she might have to evaluate me on Monday, only maybe tough.

I don’t like her.  I mean what person laughs or snorts, or even giggle a little when your trying to tell them whats on your mind?

I’m annoyed, worried, confused, you name it, I don’t know what to believe, am I or aren’t I?  I really can’t tell, and that really sucks cause I’m the only person who could know.

God I really don’t know what to do..