Hopeless.


These last days I’ve just been feeling sort of numb most of the time, with the occasional energy boost, and then being really tired. It’s exhausting to be completely honest.

I have this pain in between where my ribs meet, an emotional pain which has been present for as long as I can remember, and It’s like its draining me for energy.

I just feel like nothing I write now, no matter what it is, it just does not matter, its just not important or interesting enough.

I really hate feeling like this, like I’m alive, but that’s about it. I can’t really explain it well enough for you guys to understand. I simply cannot do anything today.

A few days ago I read though some of my old posts, and found myself wanting to be that bad again, cut myself up so bad and start it all over again. Why you ask? I guess it could be my self destructive side trying to do more damage, to make me feel more pain, wanting me to go back to where I was.

Gah I just feel hopeless, and what I’m writing isn’t very interesting, not that I think I could write more even if I tried..