Please, please, just this once.
I’ve taken sick leave from work, everything’s just too much these days. Anxiety is over whelming, and constant.
It’s never been this bad, and its terrifying. I just want to be able to be calm and breathe. I’m exhausted. And when it’s like this, it brings me to the point of desperation where self injury and suicide is all I can think of. Back and forth from anxiety to self destructive behaviour.
Back and fourth, back and fourth.
My mum said that it was idiocy taking time off work because of it, but she doesn’t understand, or rather, she refuses to understand.
I just can’t seem to calm down. I’m even nervous about just stepping outside, right outside of the front door. I spend up to ten to twenty minutes trying to talk myself into it, but in the end, I do it. Which is a good thing right?
It’s gradually been getting worse, mostly work related, but there has to be more to it, right?
At work I just feel like I’m in the way, annoyance, no one really wants me there. All I hear is negative stuff. It makes me anxious, insecure and depressed. I have no idea what to do about it.
I like my job, I don’t want to quit, but my new manager is horrible, and I can’t handle her. Nor do I dare speaking up to her about it.
At the same time I feel like a failure, like it’s a weakness taking time off of work just because of anxiety and mental issues. Is it?
Because that’s how my mum looks at it. She just told me to go find a new job then. But I don’t want that, I like my job, I want to keep it, it’s safe, familiar.
What am I supposed to do?
Did I do the right thing?
If anyone has ANY tips on how to deal with this kind of anxiety, please leave a comment below, it would be greatly appreciated.
– Desperate –