Tumbling down.


I’m crashing again; All impending doom and all that nonsense.

Depression is growing and settling down inside me again, and there seems to be nothing I can do to stop it.

I feel alone, there’s no room for me or my issues right now. Not that there ever were.

Someone always has a bigger issue going on, or they simply just can’t be arsed to lend an ear, to give up a little time, to give back to someone who’s already given up so much for them. It’s just too much to ask for.  Taking is easy, but giving seems to be damn near impossible.

I have a lot I want and need to say, but I can’t get it out. The words seem to simply escape me, they disappear at the tip of my tongue. Or I simply don’t have someone willing or able to lend an ear.

I cry a lot; And I almost cry a lot.

Everything seems to be too much for me to handle for the time being, I feel to fragile. I don’t know how to proceed from here. How do I get out of it?

I want to be happy, to put all of this behind me, but I still haven’t figured out how.

A flash of a memory appeared, but I’m at loss as to how to interpret it. Is it real? Did it really happen?

It’s quite traumatic to say the least. It’s left me feeling lost and raw.

And the worst part? I’ll most likely never know if there’s any truth behind the ‘memory’.

I can’t confront the person about it, not without any proper indications that it actually did happen.  It’s scary.

I try my best not to dwell on it too much, but I can tell from the effects on my body, that its running amok in my subconscious, ripping and tearing things up, causing pure havoc and uproar inside me. I don’t know how to handle all this.

 

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