There are a lot of girls who dislike themselves, maybe a part, or everything.
And believe it or not, but I used to be one of those girls, I hated what I saw in the mirror every day, I didn’t like my body, my hair or anything. I’ve always disliked my body because I’ve always had hips, like hour glass shape any everything, I was born with it, crazy huh?
To be completely honest there are days that I wish I were a boy, all flat everywhere, no boobs no nothing. It’s hard to explain exactly what I mean, but I try.
It has nothing to do with the fact that they have it so much easier than us girls, because they don’t. As a matter of fact both boys and girls have it just as hard, have just as much problems, just not at the same places. A guy has to show that they aren’t weak, because if you are you’re a wimp, or gay, but that isn’t true.
I don’t know where they have got that idea from, that it’s not okay to be emotional about something, to show it, to talk about it. Fine, gay people talk about feelings and stuff, but so what, they’re people too, they’re as much as a person as you are, and so why is it so bad to be sensitive or gay?
I guess my depression has changed my point of view on things, on myself, things around me. Like I was convinced that I was fat because I had a little much some places, and I didn’t eat much these two years, so I lost weight, but the way I did it isn’t healthy, and I wasn’t even aware of it myself before I suddenly looked at myself in the mirror and thought “ Wow! This isn’t normal, this isn’t me”
I was shocked, and during my depression or what I should call it I did research on it, like you know you have a depression if you have trouble sleeping at night, or that you sleep too much, that you suddenly gain weight or lose weight, that you eat too much or too little, that you just go through the week to get to the weekend, and when the weekend comes you do nothing, and it just goes There on like that.
So I guess you can say that there has come something positive out of all this, I’ve become comfortable with myself, I’m more insightful, and yeah that’s all I can think of right now, so I’ll get back to just that.
I have a routine that I do every day without even thinking about it until this second, in the morning and before I go to bed I stand in my underwear looking at myself in the mirror and I see all the positive things about myself, things that I like about me.
So here’s a little advice to all you guys out there, boys and girls, at any age, every day, look in the mirror when you wake up and before you go to bed and find one positive thing about yourself that day, one positive thing about your body.
It helped me, so I just hope that I will help someone else too.
No one should have to go through depression, to feel it tearing down your confidence, the person you are, because I can tell you that it’s awful, and I don’t want it for anyone, you only see the dark side of things, you’ve given up completely, and you feel that no one can understand the way you’re feeling. And that last thing is true, because no one can say that they know how you feel without going through what you have.
All I know is that I’m happy to be here, that I’m still here, and I’m working my way up, and I’m never going back down there again. I can’t wait until that day when I can finally close that hole completely.
I don’t know if anything of this makes sense, this is really hard for me to write about, I can’t find the right words, at least not at this moment.
Remember, to built up your confidence about yourself you gotta start with what you think about yourself, start at the top and work your way through.
It’s weird to think about that two years ago I thought that if I thought I looked good, and showed it that people would think that I was cocky, like that “I’m better than you” attitude or something, and with some people that’s true, but you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you feel good about yourself, show it and be proud of it.
I formulate my words the best way I can, I just hope that it’s enough for you guys to understand, to maybe see this from my point of view, I don’t know, but it would be a lot easier if those who read this, if there are any, that they would say what they thought, give me some replies, thoughts maybe?
And one last tips, never ever watch a romance movie if you’re feeling lonely or have a broken heart, it only makes things worse.
Keep smiling
ShadowLicious
xx
- .My Healing Journey. - 